El Cap Report 05/12/08

Settle down rodents... you probably still have that buzz on from the Cafe report this morning... you know the Cafe is where things really happen and the day is organized. All the loners and stoners spend way too much time there...

El Cap Report 05/11/08

Yo... all right... inquiring minds want to know... others just want vicarious entertainment at the expense of others. This report is brought to you by Bob and Chris just in from Montana and bearing the promised Cobras to the bridge this afternoon.

El Cap Report 05/10/08

Yo... settle down!! Dig in.. get ready... you wanted it... but can you handle it? Direct from the most important structure in the climbing world, the Elcap Bridge... brought to you on the backs of Ian and Josh (you remember these guys from last year... they had the most ingenious ways of dodging the walk of shame!).
I rolled in Thursday evening and took yesterday off to get some things done and hang out with Mara.

El Cap Report 10/30/07

ElCap Report 10/30/07

 By Tom Evans

Well... it did pound pretty hard last night but when I arrived at the bridge today all the teams were moving upward with little apparent trouble. They are calling for severely sunny skies for a while so it is still on if you are still on it! Today’s ElCap Report is brought to you by Ted, of recent ZM fame who stopped by early in the afternoon with the Last Beers of The Season!! Thanks Bro!!

El Cap Report 10/29/07

ElCap Report 10/29/07

 By Tom Evans

Ok... its Monday and I am still holding on here in the Valley... got to the cafe this morning and Ivo told me the weather was going to cave in this afternoon... Balderdash! Bull shit!! I can see the sky for myself and things looked good... well.... anyway.... around 1:30 pm this very dark cloud filled the sky and several long peels of thunder reverberated around the valley and I ran for the van! It looks nasty out there folks. I have retreated to the comfort of my cave behind the Maintenance garage to write this report... At 10am I arrived at the bridge and found the cliff to be in good shape with no visible water on it and various teams headed upward... So here it is for today, the ECR brought to you by the little old lady Touron who sneered at me when I told her that climbs on the rock often take 3 to 5 days.... "you're a liar" she said to my face and walked off!! So much for the ElCap Bridge moto.."treat all Tourons as if they are your friends".

El Cap Report 10/28/07

ElCap Report 10/28/07

 By Tom Evans

Yo... well it rained a little last night but nothing to be bailing for... also a late shower today down at the Awhanee Hotel where I went for Brunch after I quit shooting early, around 1:30 pm .. so I don't know what happened, late, down at the Rock. Most of the day has been nice and parties are moving up the rock.... Today’s Report is brought to you by the Hot French Chic who came by to get shots of the Shield she and partner were on last week.. you remember ...the one with the nice matching blue Camisole/headband outfit who could climb the big route as well as anyone... Style... while they not may have a lot going for them otherwise, the French know how to look good on a wall... take note grungefesting American slobs! Here it is...

 

El Cap Report 10/27/07

ElCap report 10/27/07

 By Tom Evans

Yo... another killer day... started out with some clouds but buffed up real shiny... action back on the Big Stone too... Today’s report is brought to you by our man, Gene Fischer, who was actually seen climbing on the Zodiac this afternoon... really, witnessed by a slew of the local gang who watched with fascination as Gene was able to blast some of the features right off the rock with some hard driving piton placements! Sorry lads ...the first 40ft of #1 is now A-4...

 

El Cap Report 10/26/07

ElCap Report 10/26/07

 By Tom Evans

Yo, I can't tell you enough good things about this weather... another sweet day here with warm temps and very light clouds up high. There are still some pretty colors here and the north side drive in the morning is still just wonderful with the most glorious yellows and even some oranges backlit by the morning sun... and they say this is going to continue for at least a week... well the leaves won't but the weather will.. As a result you would imagine that the Great wall is packed... well think again breath of a thousand swine... the thing is almost empty... for a time the Nose had not a single climber on it this morning... then someone snuck up to sickle thus being the only climbing team on the route.

 

El Cap Report 10/25/07

ElCap Report 10/25/07

 By Tom Evans

Yo... another killer day here...perfect weather once again...still a lot of space on the wall for anyone interested. Today’s report is brought to you by the endless stream of tourons who would just love to know how we go to the bathroom up there... geeze that one gets old!!

 

El Cap Report 10/24/07

ElCap Report 10/24/07

 By Tom Evans

Yo... Well another great day here... perfect weather and it appears that it will be so for at least a week... where are you guys? The Cap is suddenly almost empty with hardly anyone on the popular routes.. Brought to you today from the cute little NZ woman whose fiancé is high on the Nose as I write these words...

 

El Cap Report 10/23/07

ElCap Report 10/23/07

 By Tom Evans

Ok... It's Tuesday and another super day here in the Valley... weather, perfect... climbing conditions, totally sweet, climbers, eager... chics, hot... cafe food, awful... leaves, fading fast... Tourons, abundant infestations.... Time left for you to get on the Big Stone, plenty.... Gene Fisher, still stalling... So where are you? I know where you are, hiding behind the old excuse of family, job, bills, kids, etc.. etc... BOGUS, my friend ... totally BOGUS!! You can always take care of that stuff but just ask your selves, "how many fall days will I see this sweet in the valley?... am I going to live so long?" Well, let me tell you Dog, you aren't going to live forever and some day, in the hopefully, distant future, while you are lying in bed gasping your last breath, you will think back with your last thought and wonder... "Why the hell didn't I go to Yosemite that fall of 2007?"... then bonk! You are gone for eternity... Is that what you want? Huh? Your last thoughts? Well suck it up chump and get out here.. some things are really important you know and Yosemite in the fall is high on the list!

El Cap Report 10/22/07

ElCap Report 10/22/07

 By Tom Evans

Yo.. Wow another beautiful day and the forecast is for many more in a row... nice!! Monday ... endless Tourons... not a lot of climbers at the bridge today... something about the good weather!! This report is brought to you by our own Ed who showed up with the beautiful Nancy this afternoon and took over my "job" of showing all the Tourons where the climbers were on the Nose... Thanks Ed!!! I told him that the job was his anytime he wanted it! I need the rest. Today’s ECR right now..

El Cap Report 10/21/07

ElCap Report 10/21/07

 By Tom Evans

Yo... Well it doesn't get much better than today here in the Valley... sweet weather, great fall colors, good company, lots of climbers around the bridge today... and.... the weather is looking good for the foreseeable future... Today’s report is brought to you from the back of Jody's CHP car where he was holding the entire McNeeley crew for "orderly conduct". Yes, it seems the lads came down for their last load just after Jody showed up and he was so mystified my their good behavior that he arrested them, figuring they must be doing something wrong to be acting so good!! So here it is ... on one of the best days you would have ever spent in this super duper place... Today’s ECR...

El Cap Report 10/20/07

ElCap Report 10/20/07

 By Tom Evans

Yo... Well it rained a bit last night and the valley was totally socked in this morning... figured the cafe would be doing big business today... but the clouds burned off around 10am and the day turned into a very nice one... the colors were really nice today as the maples are getting really yellow now and all the gullies are sporting Aspens and maples too.. very nice here... a little cool early but nice by noon... Today’s report is brought to you by a little Hispanic woman who kept trying to push me away from "My" camera so she could have a look, even though the telescope for Tourons was set up 2ft away and pointed at climbers... she got pretty annoyed that I wouldn't let here see the climbers through the camera, which BTW offers a much darker and harder to see image... some folks are never happy!!! Today’s ECR direct to you....

El Cap Report 10/19/07

ElCap Report 10/19/07

 By Tom Evans

Yo.... Today’s report is brought to you by the RN at the Yosemite Medical Clinic who looked at me this afternoon after I developed a fever and an abscess in my jaw... I said ... "give me the drugs" She said "Ok, that will be $232 please" I paid and left with my "unusually high fever" with instructions not to die without notifying them first... nice bedside manner!! Anyway it was a super nice day here perfect in almost every way with the exception of the smoke from that "controlled burn" they started a week or so ago... guess this one is one of those "visually controlled burns". Anyway it did make for some difficult lighting on the great stone... Here it is ... Today’s ECR..

El Cap Report 10/18/07

ElCap Report 10/18 /07

 By Tom Evans

YO... Geeze the rain is gone and we had a great fall day here in the big valley.. plus the action is back on up on the Captain.. so grab your package and hang on tight because the ECR is brought to you by bailing Jesse, bailing ranger who has "duties" that keep him off the cap with SAR Charley who was ready to go... nice Jesse, bailing from the desk at the office.. so here it is ... Today’s ElCap Report...

El Cap Report 10/17/07

ElCap Report 10/17/07
 By Tom Evans
Yo... It rained last night and the Cap was completely covered in clouds today.. really looked cool. All the parties got off the Nose and other routes yesterday so there weren't many to worry about... did see Josh bail off Eagles way from way up... figured he was a little too close to Horsetail Falls for his liking!! Ted and Kevin did the lightning bolt roof today and that's when I left... that is all the news for today... except that I read PTPP slander of Alex and think he must have seen the party directly below Alex trying to do free rider... see the ECR from the 15th for the slander... and rebuttal... Later... Tom Evans

El Cap Report 10/16/07

ElCap Report 10/16/07

 By Tom Evans

Yo... the day started with little promise of a good climbing weather... lots of clouds but no rain... beautiful clouds drifted around on the Captain... anyway it cleared sorta... for a while... then around 3pm some low clouds came in and it started to rain... so I was out of there... Today’s report is brought to you by sweet Lori who was stranded at the bridge this afternoon after her drive from SF.. anyway the car just wouldn't start no matter what we did... then after a while she realized it was NOT in park and the problem was solved!! Today’s report. Eagles way:

El Cap Report 10/15/07

ElCap Report 10/15/07

 By Tom Evans

Yo... Not bad for a Monday... weather was a little cloudy and cool but everyone seemed to be moving upward on the stone... some good action late in the fall season... So without further fanfare... brought to you from one of the screamers that Dan Oppenheim used on the next to the last pitch on Reticent today is Today’s ElCap Report...

El Cap Report 10/14/07

ElCap Report 10/14/07

 By Tom Evans

Yo... Man was it ever a nice day here in the Valley... lots of traffic here at the bridge, of the vehicle variety that is, but even so it was really nice here. Shirt sleeve weather, climbers going up, Tourons learning what the deal really is on the Cap.. really sweet!! If you bailed a couple of days ago because you thought the weather was over... well then you fucked up big time! Anyway today’s report is brought to you by Tony in the Yos. garage who changed my flat tire on the van this morning... what a nice guy he was... big smile, cheerful, friendly... this place is infectious with happiness... Today’s ECR.

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