El Cap Report 06/03/07

ElCap Report 6/3/07

 By Tom Evans

Ok here it comes... I fixed a zip line down from Heartbreak Hotels east deck all the way down to the Bridge railing... so I just grabbed the T bar and went down for the ride of a lifetime... landed at the bridge to find that, Scott Stowe, had taken "My Parking Spot" on the SW corner of the bridge even though he could have used many others... thus I had to shoot in the wind today and that means that a lot of nice climbers will have blurry pictures of themselves .... thanks a lot Scott!!! If you see the man tell him to give us all a break!!!   Actually the pics came out fine and Scott can park anywhere he wants :)  Direct from a vulture to the ISP comes today’s report with the dirt and the dis on all the danglers and manglers on the Big Stone... So drop that slightly used rack that you went out with today and wash those smelly, climbing shoe stains off your feet ... because you want to be clean and not sober to take in the full impact of the news... Today's ElCap Report...

El Cap Report 06/02/07

ElCap Report 6/2/07
By Tom Evans
It’s Friday ... or so they tell me so the rooms at the Heartbreak Hotel are filling rapidly for the weekend and I got down the fixed lines early today in hopes of getting my usual parking space by the Bridge to adventure... got it!! Settled in early with Lance, KFC, Bailer but they left to go do a push on the Zodiac... tons of climbers came by this afternoon and Ottawa Doug is still basking in the glory and is thinking of pitching his family/home and moving onto the east end of the bridge... we had quite a time today.. so much so that I hardly had time to do any shooting!!  Even though you are going out this weekend for some fun remember that your punk existence pales when stacked against the big wallers here on the big stone... so loosen up, listen up, brew up because straight from a shit bag dropped from high on the Cap comes today’s ElCap Report...

El Cap Report 06/01/07

ElCap Report 6/1/0

By Tom Evans 

Yo .. park your butt and turn off that cell phone and get ready for the real dealings from the center of the Ditch... that is of course the ElCap Bridge... the place of fame and the walk of shame... so, coming fresh to you from the Salathe's Ear to Zodiacs Nipple on the wing of our resident Mallard, Maynard (with his lovely lady Minnie close at his side) is today’s report .... approved by the Heads at the Heartbreak Hotel... today's ElCap Report...

El Cap Report 05/31/07

ElCap Report 5/31/07

By Tom Evans

Yo... here it comes... right on target, dropped by a B-2 bomber on a laser guided bomb so it can’t miss... Today’s ElCap Report. Skipping the long intro today in favor of the BIG NEWS OUT OF THE VALLEY TODAY... Rob Miller and Justing Sjong did indeed free the freeable Muir and even added a few nicer pitches to the route than the old "Shaft" route... they are calling it PreMuir and I was fortunate to be able to shoot them over the past 2 and 1/2 years they have worked on it on and off... you can guess that the lads were quite happy to have finally put it together in a 7 day ascent... Rob spent some of the day hanging at the Bridge and talking about the good time they had on the route... neither he nor Justin looked at all "worked"... Now to the other news from deep in the ditch...Today's ElCap Report...


El Cap Report 05/30/07

ElCap Report 5/30/07

By Tom Evans

Ok... dig out your rain gear, get that bailers topo out, and hunker down under that rain fly because fresh from the base of the Blast comes all the dirt and delight brought to you by a Peregrine falcon right here from the deck of the Heartbreak Hotels best suite. I have the eyes and ears of an eagle and you can't slide that BS story by me... so here it is straight from the Deck of the Ditch... the epicenter of the center of the big walling scene here in Yosemite... the ElCap Report for today.

El Cap Report 05/29/07

ElCap Report 5/29/07 By Tom Evans

Yo... here it comes straight to you via a low pass by Chuck Yeager in the Bell X-1 at Mach 1.05... I rapped off Heartbreak hotel today to find that some guys had taken my spot at the bridge and that threw a snag into the days shooting as I need the van to block the wind... but I made do... so pack your imaginary haul bags and get your gear racked and head out onto the greatest big wall climbing in the solar system this side of Neptune... remember I am the hard eye of honesty, coldly looking at the rock with a remorseless gaze... you can't fake me bro and the dirt flies if you even try... Thanks Chuck for your faster than sound delivery of the dirt and the delights fresh from the epicenter of the center of the big wall climbers dreams...  Today's ElCap Report....


El Cap Report 05/28/07

ElCap Report 5/28/07

 By Tom Evans

Yo... This morning I came down the invisible lines from Heartbreak Hotel.   I slid down to man my station as the gate keeper at the gate of adventure.  Another great day here at the epicenter of the center of the climbing universe in Yosemite... lots to report today... big sends... big bails ... and of course big flails... so throw that rack back into he closet because your little vacation is now over and you have to rely on Ansel Evans for all your big wall vicarious thrills and I've got the dope right from the center of the ditch itself... from the nipple pitch that you just dream about hugging, to the triangular roof high on the Dihedral wall... here it comes... unfiltered, not spell checked or grammatically correct.... you have to figure out the botched parts.. a good mental workout so you won't get Old Timers disease like I have!!

Today's ElCap Report.....


El Cap Report 05/27/07

ElCap Report 5/27/07

 By Tom Evan

s Yo... a little late posting this one as the Valley was a Zoo yesterday with huge traffic volume ... but here it is fresh from the pack of a hitch hiker I sent out as the van couldn't be moved in the traffic... your man here on a windy warm day with all the action from the cap.. we had the bails and the flails today and some "walk of shames" too. We had some expeditions backing their bags and hauling their shit up fixed lines and down from the top...So direct from the Dihedrals' Black cave to Zodiacs' Dead End ledge... here it comes... the ElCap Report..


El Cap Report 05/26/07

ElCap Report 5/26/07
 By Tom Evan
s Yo.... loosen your tie, take your jacket off, go to the fridge and get a cold one... the time has come to escape your pitiful daily struggle for the legal tender... let your imagination take you away like a bath in a tub full of Calgon Bubbles... straight from the Ditch comes the dirt for today... brought to you from an RPG fired from the bridge at a low passing commie satellite.... the news from "The Ledge" on the Dihedral to the Bolt Ladder on Zodiac....

El Cap Report 05/25/07

ElCap Report 5/25/07

 By Tom Evans

Yo... kick back, take off the shoes, flop down after a hard day at work, escape to the Valley for a few moments, hang with gang at the epicenter of the center of Yosemite big wall climbing here at the ElCap Bridge. Relax, your man Ansel is here at the scene actually viewing the action directly, no web cam crap here Bro!!! I cover it all... the sailors, the flailers, and the bailers... don't try to pass that story you made up off on me ... I know the real deal and am not afraid to squeal.... Here it comes.... direct from a hat dropped off ElCap tower and floated on the wind to you... The ElCap Report for another great day in the Valley of many great days... from Zodiac to the Salathe...


El Cap Report 05/24/07

ElCap Report 5/24/07

 By Tom Evans

Ok... it is that time again... go to your room, close the door, sit down and relax. It's time to take some time for yourself for a change... escape to Yosemite with me. Yes, it is ElCap Tom dishing the dirty and the delightful, fresh from the ElCap Bridge and brought to you directly, paper clipped on the wing of the raven I called down from above.  As you would expect, it was a fine day with lots of action on the big stone. But first a quick sidebar about this report... some of my good friends here have brought into question this report and whether or not it should be done anymore. They feel that anything that reports Valley doings on the net could be used by NPS to keep track of us, or follow our exploits in such a way as to compromise our positions here.  They would feel more secure if nothing was reported, even though I try my very best to give just general news with nothing specific about anyone in particular. I frankly didn’t even think about this aspect of the Report, as I was just having a little fun with it and hoping you were too... but they do have a good point and many have learned that any information is sometimes too much information... I need to know what you think too... It does take time to do these things and I guess I could be doing something else if that is what you think should be done. .. you make the call... have I said anything that is out of line in that dept.?  If so don’t post it here but email me...


El Cap Report 05/23/07

ElCap Report 5/23/07

 By Tom Evans

Yo.... Well here it is ... fresh off the back of a trout swimming upstream from the ElCap Bridge. All the news from the center of the universe of wall climbing... the ElCap Bridge... direct to you from your man on the scene, Telephoto Tom, Ansel Evans, ElCap Tom Ewans, the most famous climber in Japan, ELCap-pics... call me what you want... the dirt is dished here and I report on it all, the good, the bad, the ugly!  So tie in, hang on, and pay attention as I'm only going to type this once! Today started out cloudy and calm and I was thrilled!! This was the best light I've seen on the Captain all year and I melted the shutter on my camera I was taking so many shots.... then around noon the sun came out and that was the end of the excellent light.

Today's ElCap Report:

El Cap Report 05/22/07

ElCap Report 5/22/07

 By Tom Evans

Yo... I know you have been waiting all your boring day to get this report... so here it is fresh from the base of the ElCap scree slope and brought to the computer by a Sherpa runner who is here for the week... from Dead Bird ledge to the Teflon Corner here is all the latest dirt dished by the man on the scene...Today's ElCap Report:


El Cap Report 05/21/07

ElCap Report 5/21/07

 By Tom Evans

Direct to you from a U2 spy plane flying over the valley this afternoon... a beautiful day here with a few clouds appearing from the northwest late in the day.... Here it is ... the news from the Nipple of Zodiac to the Ear of the Salathe... Today’s ElCap Report


El Cap Report 05/20/07

ElCap Report 5/20/07

 By Tom Evans

 Yo....this report is brought to you fresh from the shores of the mighty Merced river at the ElCap Bridge... A beautiful, warm California day with a strong up canyon breeze shaking the Aspens along the river and the sun warming the climbing lizards basking in the glow at the bridge. Anyway....the ElCap news covers the Big Stone from the East Butt to the West Butt... the latest... direct from the scene!!

El Cap Report 05/19/07

ElCap report 5/19/07

 By Tom Evans

Yo... From the shade of the El Cap Bridge... Nice here today... 

Today's ElCap Report...


Mescalito: Team of two moving right along to the 8 pitch today. Eric and Mo are finishing up space via Mescalito and are a few from the top.


El Cap Report 05/18/07

ElCap report 5/18/07

 By Tom Evans

Yo... well today was a lot quieter than yesterday!!  I went over to the SAR cache this morning and gave the many shots I took to John Dill... Keith Lober showed up as did Merry Braun and we all sat around looking at some of them on the computer and talking about the rescue... I said I wanted to shake the hand of the man who lowered into that situation from a chopper hovering just a few feet from the wall. Great work Keith and Jack!!  Nice day today with some action starting on different routes.


El Cap Report 05/17/07

ElCap Report 5/17/07

 By Tom Evans

BIG RESCUE ON THE CAP TODAY. A guy fell from the pitch above the king swing and broke his femur with gallons of blood on eagle ledge. I called it in around 9:30 am and told 911 to get some one here fast as the guy was bleeding to death. He was on Eagle ledge with his partner who was doing everything he could to keep him alive... never seen such an amount of blood... the ledge was streaming with it. Anyway ... 3 choppers showed up and the full SAR rescue team arrived after a time.

El Cap Report 05/16/07

El Cap Report 5/16/07

 By Tom Evans

Yo... another nice day in the valley. Today’s ElCap Report.

El Cap Report 05/15/07

ElCap Report 5/15/07

 By Tom Evans

This report is an idea I had that resulted from so many people asking me "What is going on ElCap these days?"  I figure that with the internet and such a lot of people would like to know too.  So I am going to try to write some of what I see ... I will post these reports on SuperTopo and we will see what comes of it....

Ok... the Cap is pretty empty in great weather..


Nose... one party on El Cap tower another fixed to sickle and that’s it.


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